Total Recall and our Bland Future

Someone should tell sci-fi filmmakers that there are more visions of the future than the one in Blade Runner. 

I was flipping back and forth between Total Recall and Total Recall: Recall (*rimshot*) and I started explaining to my girlfriend what was wrong with the remake.  She was barely paying attention, because I can't compete with the riveting action of "Words With Friends."  Eventually, I gave up and decided to just write it down here, where the shame of being ignored doesn't hurt as much.

It's more than just Total Recall, though.  That's just one of the latest examples.  I, Robot, Minority Report, Equilibrium, even the new RoboCop; a lot of directors seem to have the same boring vision of the future.  The same round cars, the same guns, the same tech ideas, the same dried out backgrounds.  Everyone dresses in black and gray.  And if anyone listens to music, it's gonna be some techno offshoot.  It scares me because many of those flicks take place in a year that I'm probably going to live to see.  I like colors, everyone.  And I hate techno. 

It takes away from a movie for everyone to live in a future like that.  I get why Equilibrium looked that way; it was part of the plot of the movie.  But part of the appeal of the original Total Recall was the world where it took place.  It was vibrant and colorful, the people had personality and character, and there was comedy.  The filmmakers of that movie allowed themselves to think up all kinds of crazy shit to put on Mars, and they did.  That's why there was an exploding head bomb.  That's why they had a mutant with gold teeth and a jheri curl, who couldn't remember how many kids he had.  That's why there's a guy walking around with a psychic talking fetus jammed in his stomach. 

The remake took all of that away, presumably, because they believed that the charisma of Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel would be enough to compensate.  I mean, it wasn't a bad movie.  Just not anything memorable.  I can't think of anything that really stuck out as far as characters are concerned, and they had some good actors in this.  Hell, I like Colin Farrell.  That's why I gave the flick a chance.  And who doesn't like Bryan Cranston?  But did this movie bring anything memorable to the story at all?  The score, anything?  They didn't even give it a chance to be interesting, because they didn't go to Mars.

Same with I, Robot and Minority Report.  I like those movies just fine, but I'm tired of that antiseptic and bland version of the future.  To put it simply, Will Smith shouldn't stand out because he's wearing Chuck Taylors.  And if he does stand out, it needs to be for more of a reason than the fact that he's wearing Chuck Taylors.  Unless you're trying to make the point that the world is so defeated that all it takes is a pair of sneakers to completely upend everyone's sense of conformity.  Oh, my bad, he also drives a muscle car.  OOOOH, LOOGIT.  WHAT A REBEL.

There are far too many examples of the future in movies that are interesting and exciting for filmmakers to even want to do that.  Back to the Future Part II is 25 years old, and all folks remember about that movie is the 30 minutes that they spent in 2015.  RoboCop is even older, but who doesn't remember that version of "Future-Reagan's America?"  In my mind, I'd think anyone making a movie would want to go all out to express their vision of the future, but if your vision of the future is just different shades of gray, then you're probably about to make a boring movie.

Because let's face it: Pepsi, Nike, and KFC aren't going anywhere.  Might as well put them in the movie.